The lazy light that seeps into the half empty train carriage

On my way to NUH every morning, I sort of savor this moment when the MRT just came out of the tunnel and that morning sun just lights up the whole carriage. And at that time, its half empty, gone are the crowd and alongside it, the heaving and shoving. It’s like this private moment where you start to enjoy the last few minutes of the ride on the train (seated of course…..) Sometimes, you just close your eyes and upon feeling the bristling sunrays upon your skin, open them again, to the morning world where everything is illuminated.

Apart from that moment of tranquility, most of the time of the train was spent standing and staring into the oblivion of the blue or black or being nudged around. Many thoughts come to my mind so maybe it might be worthwhile to start writing and get into the habit of it. Sometimes I realize writing is really a discipline and it takes this effort to pen down your thoughts and not simply wax lyrical or leave the mind’s theatre of conscious thought to play out wayang kulit.

I think I have been living a dream for too long, dreaming of what I want to do, like to do, and bearing the frustrations of should haves and could haves. It’s almost to the brim of weeping for the lives your wishes never led.

It’s really a time where I wake up and really live, to do all that I have always wanted to do. There is never something truly or unrealistically impossible, but rather turned impossible or unachievable when perseverance and imagination fails. We are always afraid of losing what we have, but if we do not let go of all these binding inhibitions on our mind, I really don’t know how else conservative ways and thoughts could change, let alone create.

It is finding that commitment and discipline to cement whatever enthusiasm and imagination I have. It is the belief you hold close when you take the road less traveled, when your palm reaches out into the dark to reclaim the remnants of light. It's everything that I do, from every moment that pass from this page.