Trains. And thoughts that lie too deep at times

"So what is the purpose of life?"
"Hmm... I don't know. Maybe it's like Socrates says, to keep examing yourself, and improve. Yeah, it's like you keep thinking about it, and refining your purpose of life, and how you want to live it."
"But what is the point of improving? Is there any end to it? If it's knowledge, when you die, it goes with you?"

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"So how do you live your life?"
"You mean what I do besides research?"
"No, not that, but what I mean is how do you go about living your life. There could be this time where you realise who you really are? And then"
"..............."
"..............."
"Arh.. I get what you mean. I dunno, I guess to me that means not forgetting the simple joys in your life. The joy of writing, reading and learning perhaps. Sometimes I really feel that I might lose them one day. Its like you learn to look outside a certificate, a relationship and stuff, and realise that there is still these things that are worth living for."

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Some three years perhaps, has transpired between those two questions. And I do not come closer to answering that. You know, part of it is constantly asking yourself that question, and re-examing what you are doing. It is so easy to forget that sometimes, and do anything to seek that moment of absence. Drinking, tv, work and all these, it just veils that mortality of our existence. Somehow, we take for granted that come the next day, we would still be doing the same thing the day before.

It is easy to forget that there is something besides grades and work. It is even easier sometimes, to remind ourselves that we value our relationship with people. But in the end, do we keep to that? It is simple, to tell ourselves that what matters is that we gain knowledge and we learn, but where upon does our intensity lies? Have we lost, our intensity for life, and let it seeped, unnoticingly, unknowingly. Is that which we claimed to remember, a shadow and nothing else.

It is excruciating and pain staking at times. I am afraid that I will forget it all one day.